Category Archives: Marketing

A last straw example of meaningless gobbledygook marketing

Marketing, , , , , ,

I’m sorry. I need to rant about meaningless gobbledygook marketing.

Today I received an email from a marketing agency wanting to set up a meeting with me. I was so astonished by the depth of clichéd overused management style jargon that I almost feel like naming and shaming. Instead I am simmering down by sharing the beauty of the bollocks.

Here’s one of the many incredible sentences:

“Our unique, proven and collaborative approach of combining doctorate level theoretical analytics, strategy and world-class creative execution delivers ground-breaking, game-changing initiatives for ambitious brands.”

What on earth does it mean? Am I supposed to be impressed? Do they really think I want to do business with people who produce such claptrap?

There’s more.

“Our commitment to actionable strategies, ingenious ideas and sustainable impact has already led to successful outcomes.”

meaningless gobbledygook marketing

Okay hands up. I’ve used such language in an earlier more naive part of my career but now I like to think I have risen above such jargon.

If something is “unique” you know that it is just the same as everything else. If it is “very unique” you know the copywriter doesn’t realise that you can’t have degrees of uniqueness. “Innovative” is equally meaningless, “game-changing” even more so. Please don’t tell me about “value added” or how something has been “optimised” or “finessed” so that it attains the “scalability” to become “world class”.

Talk to me in plain English. That’s how I like to communicate. Verbally and in writing.

I can’t wait for the follow up call from these guys.

Over to you: This email was obviously the last straw for me hence the rant. Please share your own examples of meaningless gobbledygook marketing. I’d love to read them and perhaps create a list of the most magnificent and meaningless.

Are you glad they let Sue Barker nuke the Go Compare opera singer

Marketing

Do annoying adverts work? When you see one on TV that makes you want to put your foot through the screen do you then buy their product or use their service?

Look at the Go Compare opera singer ads. They make me dive for the mute button the second that chubby guy with the scary moustache appears and starts to tenor. Do you do that? I’ve seen people post on Twitter that they want to take a base ball bat to him. Or that they would like to do unspeakable things to the agency that created the campaign.

nuke the go compare opera singer

When I was learning the ropes as a marketing assistant I learned about the traditional advertising formula of AIDA.

  • Attract the customer’s ATTENTION
  • Arouse INTEREST in your product or service.
  • Create a DESIRE for it
  • Make the customer take an ACTION – like buy your product

Whilst the singer might attract your attention for a moment, it seems he doesn’t arouse interest. More like derision that leads to an action like muting the sound. Plus it creates hoards of very annoyed people. And yet many months later when those same people get their insurance renewal they remember that jingle that was burned into their brain. And they buy from Go Compare.

So the opera singer has been very successful in building brand recognition and for that we will get no apology from their marketing people or their advertising agency.

But here’s the best bit. I always thought that eventually they should do an advert where THEY hit the mute button themselves. Well they went much further than that by getting Sue Barker to fire a bazooka at him. By suddenly doing exactly what everyone has been wanting to do they have turned a huge population of alienated and annoyed people into happy people engaged with the brand.

That is the genius of this latest instalment of the campaign.

Over to you: There are some great adverts out there and there are many more annoying one. Please share your favourites old and new. And I mean your favourite “good” ones and your favourite “bad” ones. Leave a comment below.

Where can you find raw product design talent and exciting marketing development ideas?

Marketing, , , ,

Isn’t it a shame how good creative ideas for products or marketing campaigns are often smothered by the politics and bureaucracy in big companies? If I’m ever worn down by an never ending conveyor belt of IT, Compliance and Risk people who have an endless list of “Why Nots”, I look to the graduating students in product design at The Glasgow School of Art (GSA) for inspiration.

For the last few years I have been a judge (for Service Design Network UK)  looking at the top four projects that the finalists have created. We select a winner based upon their 10 minute presentation (makes me feel like a Dragon in the Den) and their business and marketing plans.

This is raw product design talent. It is a hot-house of creative marketing development ideas. I am always overwhelmed by their enthusiasm and drive.

This year I saw:

Lizzie and her Tempting Tastebuds. Lizzie made a remarkable leap to reach her idea. Having seen a Marks and Spencer competition to design a special picnic – she came across an article entitled “Chemotherapy is no picnic”. Further research revealed such treatment suppresses people’s appetite.  So it prompted her to design a range of highly nutritious meals that could be eaten in small amounts. She researched the recipes and designed a whole selection of packaging and a marketing campaign to go with it.

GSA product design talent marketing development ideas

Daniel and his Hermitage luxury portable hotel rooms. Daniel had spotted a trend for increasingly high end luxury hotels. But what happens if the remote lake you want to visit does not have any accommodation? Hermitage is an idea for a portable luxury unit that is helicoptered into the desired location. I was particularly impressed with his self produced TV advert which in my opinion was of broadcast quality.

GSA product design talent marketing development ideas

Fi and her Make/Work matchmaking service for suppliers and producers. Fi had identified a problem faced by people who make things (clothes or just about any product you can think of) being able to easily source local raw materials without hours of Google trawling. Her Make/Work website brings the two together very easily. And Fi has personally created a huge network of contacts. The idea is highly franchise-able.

GSA product design talent marketing development ideas

Phoebe, Flora, John and Luke and their Dementia Dog. The team built upon the principle of guide dogs for the blind and developed the dementia dog to help bring routine into the lives of Alzheimer’s sufferers. Not only have they created a Dementia Dog Website and a full business plan but have even secured investment funding to trial their idea for real.

GSA product design talent marketing development ideas

It was a close call but we awarded the prize to the Dementia Dog project. Talking to the graduates afterwards over a beer, I was again taken by their creativity and passion. I wish them all well deserved success in their careers.

GSA product design talent marketing development ideas

Me and Dr Gordon Hush with the finalists

When they encounter their own never ending conveyor belt of IT, Compliance and Risk people who have an endless list of “why nots”, I hope that their ideas and ambitions prevail.

Over to you: What’s the best new idea you’ve heard about for a new product or service? Or have you got any funny stories about how you have persevered against the “why nots”? Please leave a comment and share your experiences.

Why do some HR and IT departments hate social media marketing?

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It’s a great time to be a marketer. The Internet and social media have changed the game completely in less than a decade. TV advertising, although still restricted to those with big budgets, is no longer as effective as it was when there were only two commercial channels. Now there are hundreds, and in addition the web offers other types of entertainment. So grabbing people’s attention is much harder.

Back before video and TiVo/Sky+ the only way to escape an advert was to mute, or turn off, or go and make a cup of tea. Now you can flash through it. Consumers are no longer interrupted by marketing communications. They can ignore us. They are in control.

IT departments hate social media marketing

But whilst they can shut the adverts out, consumers still have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. If they want to buy a new pair of shoes they’ll most likely Google the brand. Looking for a hotel in Spain, they’ll go online and look for reviews on TripAdviser. And they’ll ask specific questions like, “What’s the best Indian Restaurant in Preston?” Or, “Where can I find a Personal Trainer in Luton?”

Businesses who provide content that answers these specific questions will find their customers coming to them. Actually seeking them out. Social media and the web means that marketers can create a fine mesh of links from Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIin, Pinterest to their own content of web pages, blogs, Q&As, videos, podcasts, white papers, and info-graphics. Interruption marketing (TV adverts, Billboards, posters) is giving way to content marketing. And whilst the former will never disappear, the advertisers have to work harder to successfully interrupt their customers and get them to react.

IT departments hate social media marketing

The great thing about this is that really powerful marketing is now much more accessible to smaller businesses with tighter budgets. And another advantage a small company is that they won’t be constrained by their own departments. In some places there is so much resistance to social media and online content that they create their own barriers to taking advantage of technology.

Social media is often blocked from employees. The HR department don’t want their staff on Facebook when they should be working now do they? But here’s the thing. This is no different to when individual phones started to appear on people’s desks. In those days, HR’s argument was that staff would spend all their time on the phone talking to friends. It didn’t happen.

It’s never been about the technology? It wasn’t back then and it isn’t now. It’s always been about managing the staff. Don’t block social media, because in reality your staff might be able to help promote the company or create good content for you.

Then there is the IT departments. Why do some IT departments hate social media marketing?

Why to they never phone you up and say, “Listen we’ve just seen this new App, and the marketing opportunities for you are amazing”? No, it’s me that phones them and says, “I’ve just seen this new App and the marketing opportunities are amazing?”

IT departments hate social media marketing

And they say, “We can’t let you use that we haven’t the bandwidth.”

Or, “We’ll leave ourselves open to infection with nasty viruses.”

Or, “We can’t take the risk of data leakage.”

You can’t fight against innovation you need to embrace it. No doubt some people resisted in introduction of mobile phones and of the Internet itself. But now it’s impossible to imagine life without these. But HR and IT resistance can hinder big businesses and give smaller players the advantage.

Social media and content are changing the way we engage with consumers, and unlike traditional marketing communications channels they are not restricted to those with huge advertising budgets.

The smallest business can take advantage of these wonderful innovations and make themselves visible. And when you are visible and you give people answers they want, they will want to do business with you.

Over to you: Have you experienced resistance to using social media from your own HR and IT departments? How have you addressed their concerns. Have you got them on board? Please leave a comment by clicking on “leave a reply” below here.