We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Entertainment

Time off over Christmas and New Year inevitably means many duvet days watching films on TV, DVD and now for the first time, Blu Ray.

Piranha 3D gnawed its way into my Christmas stocking this year. From the cover photos and blurb it looked like a good excuse to expose as much bikini clad female flesh as possible. It also promised to showcase the questionable acting skills of Kelly Brook, as well as showcasing as much of her bikini clad flesh as possible.

Surprisingly enough, once you get past what’s on display, you are left with a pretty good thriller, with at least six genuine heart stopping shock moments. And some scenes of real edge of the seat tension. The film pays homage to Jaws (especially in the opening moments with Richard Dreyfuss), with one shock to equal the “head coming through the hole in the boat” moment from the 1975 classic.

There’s not much story. It’s summer and all the youngsters are out on the lake enjoying the sun. An earth tremor creates a crack in the lake bed through which a huge swarm of prehistoric, and extremely hungry piranha fish emerge. They immediately start to sate their hunger on the revelers. The special effects are gruesome and there is gore galore with just enough black humour to balance off the blood.

It took me a few moments to recognise the actress playing the cop who jet skis in to the rescue – Elizabeth Shue (Marty McFly’s girlfriend in the second two Back to The Future films). And as if in homage Christopher Lloyd turns up in typical mad starry eyed professor mode to support her efforts to rid the lake of its feeding frenzy of fiendish fish.

In the end it is really just about bikini clad flesh being stripped to the bone, but the out of seat shocks and the tension elevate it above the fish food it first appeared to be.

Let it Snow…Let it Snow…Let it Snow

Travel

Oh the weather outside is frightful….dum de dum…delightful!

Well after nearly 5 weeks of the thickest snow I have ever seen in my life, forgive me if I hope I never hear that song again. Radio stations I implore you not to play it for at least two years. Okay?

It’s amazing how the whole UK just grinds to a halt when the snow comes. Some argue that we shouldn’t invest in expensive equipment for rare conditions like these, but with a useless car stuck on the driveway for almost a month, and with legs tired from trudging miles in 6 inches of snow, I think there is another case to be made.

Why was the car stuck? Well it is a BMW. These cars are totally useless on snow. And I’m not talking about the really thick stuff. Mine struggles on a dusting. The wheels spin as it vainly tries to grip the road. But it goes no where. A BMW in the snow is no better than a sledge.

So I have missed Christmas parties and on some days taken nearly 3 hours to travel the 6 miles to work. Trips to London have been cancelled because of snow clogged runways, lack of de-icing fluid, and crews out of position. One day I took the decision not to travel to London on the Sleeper Train and cancel my trip. I am glad I did as that very train broke down in the borders and the passengers had to be bussed home.

And on the subject of trains here is a special mention for Scotrail who in my opinion win the award for the most incompetent of all companies during the blizzards. Whilst their website and even the TV screens in the stations continued to proclaim that the trains were running on time, Scotrail were cancelling trains left right and centre. But before cancelling the train they’d have you run from platform to platform for a while, or make you get off one train and get on another before telling you of the cancellation Or they’d simply increase the delay in small increments, lulling you into a false sense that it would actually run. But then that monotonous voice would come over the loud speaker, “We are sorry but the……is cancelled. Scotrail apologies for the inconvenience this may cause you.”

That voice is as monotonous as it is insincere.

So Christmas is here. A real white Christmas. Time to lock the door, open the wine, cook the goose and get ready for the Christmas episode of Doctor Who.

Happy Christmas 2010.

Review of Body Balance Release 50 – a milestone for a great fitness class

Fitness and Yoga, , , ,

The last release of Body Balance, No 49, was so near to perfection that nothing could exceed the standard it set, even if it was a landmark like the 50th class.

So for my review of Body Balance release 50 I have decided to re-base my opinions and consider number 50 purely on its own merits and not as something that lives in the shadow of what has gone before. I really like this class, and from the feedback I have got from the people, they do too. Body Balance is very popular in Edinburgh at the moment, with most classes full with long waiting lists. This is a credit to the consistent quality Jackie given us over the last few years (and hopefully our teaching as instructors).

Review of Body Balance Release 50

Tai Chi (Soldier of Love): A very simple warm up arm wraps, a soft arm push and block and effectively a long series of arm circles and squats. Deceptively hard on the legs and if you encourage the participants to go deep then this can get sore before we even start. The outro into the second set of arm wraps just requires silence.

Sun Salutations (Won’t Give Up): An extended sun salutation with extra flat back extends and forward folds which stretch the legs nicely after the warm up punished them so much. The music is pleasant and the little breaks in between each sequence are welcome. The knee down and hands raised up after the lunge feels a little awkward. I actually feel this works better if you rise from low lunge to high lunge off the knee. Also the bent knee back bend feels a but strained as well. Straight legs feels fine.

Standing Strength (Breakeven): A standout track. Ann-See definitely “takes people places” in the DVD and you can take your participants deeper every time. I always like it when Jackie (and now Diana I suppose) introduce variations on traditional yoga poses, and the knee hugging Warrior One and the Side Bend Warrior One are innovative challenging and in the case of the side bend feel fantastic. Then it’s on to more traditional Warrior 2, Sun Warrior, Extended Warrior and then that lengthy drop into the deepest most challenging Intense pose of them all. Always elicits gasps from people at the end.

Balance (I see You (Theme from Avatar)): In the intro sequence in the Yoga Ballet Open Attitude Pose I have a strong urge to do something silly. I want rise up on tip toes and then start turning in a circle like a doll on a music box. Many lady participants are not Avatar fans so you shouldn’t over use the Avatar links – but the star fighter pilot in my likes to use the Aeroplane Pose to really dive down deep. Fire those lasers! Can’t really argue with a balance track with Dancer’s Pose in it.

Hips (Wanted): Lovely and simple hips track which really allows you to focus on the breathing to get deep down into that swan pose. The snoring references seem to make people comment about kicking their hubbies during the night – but the point here is to get the class focusing on breath. And lets face it in our busy lives most of us are breathing far too shallow anyway!

Abs (Sweet and Amazing): Apart from the music being sickly sweet and sugary like a great big cloud of candy floss – this track hits you with a sweet and amazing move that really works the “six-pack” muscles. Simple but effective. Two days after doing this track for the first time I found myself complaining of stomach ache. I started wondering what I had eaten until I realised it wasn’t food that had created the tenderness. It was Sweet and Amazing that did it.

Back (Hey Soul Sister): What a catchy bubbly feel-good song. You cannot help singing along however out of tune you are. Simple but challenging moves and no rest or respite for the full track. So good I want to do it twice.

Twists (Please Don’t Stop the Rain): This is a fairly standard twist track. Nothing wrong with the moves and they flow quite nicely. By this time most people, however well you try to co-ordinate the room are probably facing in different directions so from this track onwards I find it is all about “front leg” and “back leg”. Left and right just doesn’t cut it. Like the twisted down dogs and the child’s pose twist.

Hamstrings 1 (Vanilla Twilight): Lovely blissful calf stretches in the down dog and a different take on Triangle make this one flow along in the blink of an eye. Good music if a little difficult to find the “blocks” to match with the moves.

Hamstrings 2 (Here I confess): Another lovely Sleepthief song, Hindi Squats and a seated hamstring stretch sequence which some people would probably prefer to do with a yoga band. Quite challenging for the less flexible and means the class doesn’t finish with us lying on our backs – more sort of reclined.

Relaxation (Hundred Thousand Angels): I cannot remember the last time they used a proper song in the relaxation as opposed to an instrumental. This is a beautiful song and you cannot, repeat cannot talk over it. Let the people relax deeply and let them absorb the lyrics and the melody. I have had many people come up afterwards asking for the name of the song and the artist.

Relaxation/Meditation (Tally’s Lullaby): This is a lovely piano based outro to ease everyone back to the moment.

So a good strong release. Some quite simple tracks which hide within them some quite challenging outcomes. The DVD looks lovely as well with all the colourful costumes and the lightly is especially pretty with the “star-filters” used on the cameras. But I did just wonder whether the team were off afterwards to take part in a local production of Mamma Mia – it did look very ABBA. A great start to the fifties then.

Over to You: Are you a Body Balance Instructor? What did you think of release 50? Was it celebrating a milestone as you expected? Are you a participant? Have you enjoyed number 50?

The Cat with a Thousand Names

Cats
I recently lost the best friend I had in the world. He’s been around for nearly 18 years, listening to my thoughts, my woes and my triumphs without judging. Offering unconditional love and affection when needed. Offering comments and opinions in his own language which I always felt were right on the mark.

jek14

Yes, Jek, my beloved cat, named so long ago after a black and white masked villain called Sharaz Jek in Doctor Who, you have been my devoted friend and constant companion. And over those 18 years you have gone by many names. Boots (as in “Puss in Boots”); Black and White (for obvious reasons); Pink Nose (for more obvious reasons); Savage (when you swiped my hand and left claw marks during “The Ears Game”). There were thousands of other names as well. But most importantly you were just my Jekky.

JEK

Now you are gone, but my memories of you will last a lifetime. I’ll miss hearing you purring at the foot of the bed; crunching on munchies in the middle of the night; and I’ll miss your chirrups greetings and our long conversations.

I’ll never forget you, pink nose. Your paw prints will always be in my heart.

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Sleep tight, little one.